Imagine this. You know a woman who you love to spend time with. Being with her always makes you feel good, and she's always available. You know with absolute certainty that she will be around for the rest of your life. When you are not with her, you feel longing and unhappiness. Wouldn't you fall in love?
And what good reasons would you have to stop seeing her? well...
1) The feeling of happiness when you are with her goes away
2) Though she makes you feel good, the longing and depression you feel when you are not with her is not worth it
3) She is overly demanding and taking up all of your time
4) She does something unforgivably bad to you, and she may do it again
Imagine this. You have tried a drug that you love to be on. Using it always makes you feel good, and it's always available. You know with absolute certainty that it will be around for the rest of your life. When you are not on it, you feel withdrawal and/or depression. Wouldn't you become addicted?
And what good reasons would you have to stop using it? well...
1) The feeling of happiness when you are on it goes away
2) Though it makes you feel good, the withdrawal you feel when you are not using is not worth it
3) It is taking up all of your personal time, which you would rather have
4) As a result of using it, something unforgivably bad happens, and it could happen again
I think my theories are proven in the typical failure of trying to treat drug addicts when they don't possess any of the 4 reasons to stop using, and the typical failure of trying to get a friend to end a relationship when he doesn't possess any of the 4 reasons to stop seeing the person. And honestly, those efforts should fail.
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2 comments:
i was reading the other day in a british medical journal about successful vs. unsuccessful treatment strategies for nicotine addiction. one thing that the research has found (at least with nicotine) is that willpower/desire have very little influence on long-term success compared to other factors.
this is interesting to me b.c. generally speaking addicts are perceived as being weak-willed or deficient in will. in popular culture, the general consensus is that people should "pull themselves up by the boot-straps" and this metaphor is aggressively pursued in order to maintain something resembling personal responsibility.
i don't really know where i'm going with this, but i thought you should know.
This one's a keeper
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