boredom

I realize I may have been a bit preoccupied with the physical sensations of withdrawal and neglected the mental ones. In that respect, withdrawal is no different than the rest of life for me.

I talked about how it was hard to think. That lasted about 2 days. When I talked, it would come out, out, you know, umm, it came out kind of like this. Every time. Small daily problem solving was difficult. Now that’s gone and I feel pretty sharp.

The other thing that happened is extreme boredom. Not just “I’ve run out of things to do” boredom; A double scoop of boredom, sprinkled with indecisiveness and lethargy, with the sneaking suspicion that anything I’d do wouldn’t yield happiness anyhow on top.

Actually, boredom is still there, but it always was. I’m now remembering some of my initial reasons for avoiding the crazy water, or any other hard drug, until I was 20. One of the reasons was that when a person gets bored, as they typically do, that they should strive to do something fun or adventurous instead of just getting inebriated.

There are 2 excellent exceptions to take with this reasoning: 1)my life’s plans involve being bored in school/work, so during that time, why shouldn’t I make it easier on myself, and 2) being inebriated is fun and adventurous.

These are excellent reasons to use recreational drugs, but the problems arise when these good reasons fade into simple compulsion. If you drink to make school or work passable, then just do it then. If you drink because it’s fun and adventurous, be weary of when it’s not fun and adventurous anymore- but just a habit.