things that don't work

There are way too many things that don't work to list them all in a single blog post. Perhaps an ongoing, never-ending blog could get closer and closer, in the sense of figuring out pi to more decimal places gets "closer and closer".

A service I can do for you is to at least offer the things that don't work that are close to my heart. The things that don't work that I hold onto for dear life, against my better judgment and all objectivity, hoping that one day they will indeed "start working" if I try harder at making them not work.

-the "loaded up day"

Have an epic amount of menial shit to take care of? How about just planning to do it all tomorrow/a day off? Lots of reasons. Though it's very attractive to think that will be the day everything gets settled and you can get drunk with a clear conscience several moments later, I know through repeated error and error that it doesn't work. It's encouraging on the day you think of it because you can put it off longer, but it's extremely discouraging to wake up to a list that contains a day's worth of boring obligations. So at best you will begin on the first thing, rush the work, and become too upset to do anything thereafter.

-being social

Socialization just occurs. Even for border-borderline schizoid individuals like me, sometimes between periods of socialization, lonliness is felt. The right reaction is "time to watch kids in the hall". The wrong reaction is "I better put myself 'out there'"(whatever that means). Friends made out of emotional neccessity are not real friends. They are mildly amusing characters who you won't want hanging around asking you "how you've been". Wait it out, and the right people will be drawn to you and you to them. People that make an effort to make friends always end up getting fucked over(or bothered) by people they find out are strangers.

-technology will take care of it

Though "communication" has increased with the advent of the internet and cell phones, and I realize how helpful it is sometimes, it can't replace actually popping over(within a half hour) and being face to face. Our great-ape biology has not caught up with the internet, and won't. The difference between sending facebook messages and actually being in the same place as a friend is like the difference between masturbating to porno and having sex. This applies to non-social things as well. You can do all the wikipedia research you want on a city and still have no clue what it's like till you go there.

-getting a thing that makes money

Unfortunately, in any case besides counterfeiting money, this is untrue. Any investment you make will take time and effort to get a return on. Let's say you buy 100 dollars worth of drugs to sell for 200 dollars and make 100 dollars profit. Well, if it takes you more than 18 hours to aquire and sell the drugs, you're already working for less than minimum wage with no other expenses calculated. There sadly just isn't a thing that generates profit while you watch the upright citizens brigade... until I invent it.