I woke up a little confused, on a friends couch, not remembering some of last night. I had a neuron-shattering headache. There was an empty fifth of $10 bourbon on the kitchen counter, a 1/4 full drink and a half-eaten bag of popcorn on the table next to me. I felt like a new man.
I've overcome physical withdrawal, simple compulsion and social pressures to drink. I feel fine sober, and not like I am missing anything. But the one thing that keeps me coming back to the crazy water is the incredible clarity that follows a binge.
That's why I don't support moderation. I've tried it, having exactly 3 drinks a day just to "keep things together". It didn't work. I would wait, ridiculously, until my silly few drinks of the day, wish I had more, and repeat. I've tried sobriety. But lifes obligations have a way of piling up. The more they pile up, the more overwhelmed and unhappy I get, and the less I do them. Unless...
I get to take some time off. I'm not talking about reading a book, watching a movie or taking a nap. That time is most certainly time ON. I'm talking about higher-brain shut off, bodily functions barely still in check, thinking I'm the apex of human advancement while I feel the room spin down and to the left. That is a real vacation, it's a real break.
I used to think I didn't get hangovers, but recently I've noticed that I just ignore them, because the catharsis overwhelms most any physical discomfort. I have been calmed, reassured. I don't have any awkward time lying alone in a cold bed feeling wide-awake, because I didn't even remember going to bed, and if I did, I was wrapped in a 2.0 B.A.C. blanket.
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