S.A.P.s

Similar in form and function to the jewish american princess, there exists a specimen of humanity known as the southern american princess. When I first moved to Winston-Salem, North Carolina for no particular reason, I was shocked by the shortage of beautiful women roaming the streets, pubs and general stores. Not that there are none; instead, they don't show themselves in similar proportion to other groups.

Yet, when the holidays rolled around, I was amazed by how many there were. At this time, they were showing themselves in greater proportion to other groups, and for what reason? To shop? Yes, exactly. Sadly, this creature, as voluptuous and interesting as it is, indeed believes it is a princess. I was still skeptical of the conclusion I had jumped to until I heard a story of a never-created marriage due to a father forbidding his daughter(a probable SAP) to marry a particular man. What century is this, anyway?

The S.A.P. is a modern incarnation of the Southern Belle. Whether ex- or implicitly, they are subservient to their fathers and boyfriends, and never get to see the light of day(a.k.a. Cobe Soldo). Though they could override the patriarchal standards of their "daddys", and I'm sure that some do, for the most part, they get to play with their toys(blocks, rich boys penises, GPAs) until they "settle down" and crank out children by means of a "not arranged" marriage, to keep money that has more likely than not trickled down from slavery within their families.

Perhaps I am just bitter because I'm not in college, where I would see many more attractive women. However, even when I was definitively not-in-college in other locations, these attractive women roamed the suburbs-turned-"cities" in packs, looking to get intoxicated and accidentally cross-pollinate with the likes of high-functioning white trash like me. Here, and maybe in the total southeast, they stay inside with the blinds closed, hiding from cocaine-addled negroes and youtube news show anchors. What a shame.

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