children

I am skeptical of the drive to birth and raise children. Unlike many who share that skepticism, I don’t think child-creating is a bad idea. If someone decides to go through with it, I don’t resent them. Many who decide to become parents, however, have terrible reasoning. Certainly not all of them, but many.

The whole act is flooded in magical thinking. For many in committed relationships, the birth of a child is thought of as righteous because of how much they love each other. The love—no matter how deep— between partners does not transfer to the child in any way. Whether begat through planned birth or adoption, children are typically pretty ambivalent towards their parents love for one another. Children need a support system, hot meals and shelter; not ooey gooeyness.

Then there is the over-assumed notion that a child will love their parents. Though parents and their children can’t help having some affinity for one another due to chemical wiring; it’s not a rule that children will actually like their parents. Many don’t. A continuation of this idea is that a child will be like it’s parents, in personality and goals. A child only shares[half of {some of}] their parents possible genetics; the rest is up to the playground, what they saw in their cartoons, and who-the-fuck-knows. Your really smart, attractive child may decide to be the creator of a youtube news show rather than a doctor or a lawyer, and then you’ll have to let him live in your house until I’m 21.

The final bit of nonsense is that, through correct parenting, perfect people can be created. A child is not a thing. They’re not a robot, or even a dog(though that’s a little bit closer). A child should be allowed to come to their own conclusions, form their own personality, and make their own goals. If parents don’t let them, they will anyhow, the only difference being that they will hate their parents. If you decide to have children, please remember that you are making an organic creature with a powerful brain. Give your child variety, resources, and support. The rest is up to them.