adults

Adult >noun 1 a person who is fully grown and developed.

One idea is that this is at the completion of puberty. The idea being that after basic hormonal composition is achieved; body and mind, a person’s personality and habits are more-or-less set in stone. Oftentimes there is flex-time on this; exemplified in the idea of a “confused” time in high school in which a person truly “finds themself”. This idea is too simple; It entirely leaves out the possibility of impressive life experience, sufficient to alter emotionality, after this time.

Another idea for the completion of a person is the age of 17, 18, or 19. This gives the law and tradition far too much credit. There are so many reasons for the granting of “adulthood” at a certain age which are political, rather than scientific, in nature. The best reason that can be given for this concept is that this is when a person is “grown”. Even if you accept physicality as the marker, a person is not done growing, in body or mind, until their early 20's in most cases.

A related idea is that a person knows who they are after the completion of college. This leaves out the huge fraction of people who don’t attend, or don’t finish, college. Are they forever in an adulthood limbo? I’m sure your tight-assed college professor would say so, but I wouldn’t. It again gives too much credit to schooling. Can’t a person develop without the guidance of school? Or fail to develop, despite the guidance of school? It’s easy to observe either case in your day-to-day dealings.

The final and most irritating concept for the finish line of adulthood is parenthood. This assumes that reproduction is a duty, and completely dismisses those who choose not to, or can’t, raise children; regardless of their other efforts. More importantly, it doesn’t take into account the actual quality of parenthood. By these standards, a person who proliferates an extremely successful business in lieu of birthing children, then donates most of their profits to organizations which help thousands of families raise their children to adulthood, is less of an “adult” then a person who simply has a child, then sits around watching TV, while the child makes their way in the world.

There is no such thing as adulthood. A person is only“ fully grown and developed” when they are dead. None of us ever stop developing, throughout our entire lives, in some manner. So, when someone states “[some bullshit] happened in my childhood, so now I act like this”, or “[my first {some bullshit}] happened like this, so now I think this way”, you are justified to say “grow a set”. No one is ever in the clear; they are ultimately responsible for their personality and disposition, at any age.