screwy reviewy: Kodiak Premium Mint Dip

This is considered a very scary product- and it is. The first time I bought a tin, opened it, and observed it in its natural habitat... I thought "hmmm... this doesn't seem that bad". That's why it's dangerous. It's a bear in tobacco's clothing.

"wrestling with the bear"(as users refer to it) feels great. It feels better than great. Somehow, your body seems to move to perform necessary tasks all on its own, and when surprises do come up, you don't care. Frustration literally seems impossible

So the only frustration arises from the product itself. It smells like mint, if mint grew testicles, and it tastes as if York peppermint patties were dehydrated, shredded, rehydrated, and cause cancer. At first it doesn't even cause that much salivation.

Only use this stuff if you are absolutely outside, or absolutely not in danger of having to swallow! I, having a job that requires constantly alternating between being outside and being inside where I absolutely can't spit(though I have in elevator shafts), was a fool to think that if caught in an emergency, I might be able to swallow some.

I've done it before with skoal products, and it kind of sucked- then I forgot about it. Swallowing Kodiak was like swallowing some kind of detergent. 5 minutes later I had painful hick-ups(really!) and 5 seconds after that... I thought, 'maybe this stuff isn't fit for human consumption, in any form'. Kodiak has a mysteriously high nicotine content, and that nicotine is more accurately delivered through a very high pH, which is unlike food products.

Kodiak did exactly what they tell you smokeless tobacco should do- it made me feel elated and struck fear into my heart. Well, maybe they don't tell you that, but that's what it did. Scary stuff. So scary that my lip is full of it right now.

P.S. this is what parents should make their kids do if they catch them using nicotine