awkward ruckus

Addressing an “awkward silence” by saying “this is an awkward silence” has always driven me insane. Not for the typical reasons, which have been talked about plenty by others. Rather, because awkwardness is not my #1 enemy. For some people, anything that makes them feel awkward is to be remedied immediately. I’m not going say I don’t feel awkward. What I’m going to say is that I feel awkward all the time.

I feel awkward when I explain to people why I chose not to go to college. I feel awkward going into a hip hop club and rapping to a crowd of all blacks. I feel awkward when I tell someone I spend my free time making a show for youtube. I feel awkward so often, that i’ve learned that trying to fight it, keep it at bay or create a situation with no awkwardness would be supremely ungratifying.

Imagine a world with no awkwardness. Songs would all be 2 to 3 minutes and fade out. Singers would always be on key, and there would never be a disharmonious moment. There would be no arguments. Everyone would talk to each other on an even keel. All walls would be painted solid colors, and you’d never get static electricity shock from door knobs. Every psychological disorder would be properly diagnosed, and the correct dose of the correct medication would be prescribed, and taken exactly as often as needed. There would be no discomfort. Everyone would bathe regularly.

That’s not a world I want to live in. Awkwardness should be embraced. It should be bled dry for the feelings and thoughts that it brings. The more awkward situations you can put yourself in, the better and more interesting person you’ll be.