Historians Fail Again

So, If you're not Familiar with Ernest Shackleton and his antarctic exploration, Read Up. And If his life's work wasn't enough, He left a drinkable relic behind with his passing, 11 bottles of Charles Mackinlay & Co. Whisky, at the bottom of the damn world, over a century ago.

Upon discovery of the liquor, many questions about it arose. And they have now been answered here. And the answers are despicable. Observe:

Q: A century old? Is the liquor any good still? Is it better with age?

A: Well, liquor sitting in an airtight bottle is just the same as the day it was bottled. Only aging in barrels effects flavor. Since most of the bottles recovered are airtight, It is ostensibly the same exact liquor Shackleton chose to drink on his expedition. However, the original recipe for this Whisky has been lost. So This is all that's left of it.

Q: Isn't it frozen?

A: Though the crate was frozen solid when it was retrieved earlier this year, the whisky inside could be heard sloshing around in the bottles. -22 degrees fahrenheit is not enough to freeze the liquor. For reference, 84 proof liquor freezes at -30 degrees. The proof of this Whisky is unknown, so it may or may not have frozen in the last 120 years. The flavor likely hasn't been effected.

Q: Oh, great. So I can drink it, right?.

A: Well, you can't, because you don't deserve to. But can anyone drink it? Well, get this, "no". They plan to put a syringe through a cork of one of the bottles, So that modern scotch makers can attempt to replicate the liquor.

Q: That's stupid. why? Do they need ALL 11 BOTTLES preserved in a museum or something?

A: Actually, after a bunch of smug scientists oooh and aww at it, it will be RETURNED TO WHERE IT WAS LEFT.

Does this make any sense to anyone? There are 11 bottles to go around, the Liquor is still good to drink. The attempt to replicate the liquor is great and all, but we have some of the original that's still just waiting for us to drink it! The Liquor itself has no historical importance, besides being liquor that isn't made anymore that was the drink of choice for a great explorer. He brought it with him to drink it. What's the point of leaving it? Would there be any difference If we just filled the bottles back up with wild turkey, and split the original liquor between the modern relatives of shackletons team, The modern explorers who uncovered it, and the scotch maker who will try to replicate it? It would be a serene moment for all of them, and the shackletons Scotch Whisky tale would have a great ending.

INSTEAD, All they are doing is depriving those who most deserve to drink it, being smug about how well they're "preserving history", and practically saying "Come Steal the Whisky and drink it". You read right. Someone will steal it. I know because If I happened to be around the south pole in a helicopter and someone said "Hey, want to get loaded on 120 year old scotch?" I would say Yes, and I would take the rest home and get selfishly drunk on it myself. Because it's silly not to. Childish.

That said, though I'm appalled by their decision, they've opened the next chapter. and I can't wait for a few years from now when I read "Local independently wealthy canadian tipler steals and drinks historic hooch, exclaims 'I'm not sorry'".

No comments: