Screwy Reviewy: Can't Hardly Wait

Pictured Above: The Hard Truth.

I just watched a movie called Can't Hardly Wait, and was surprised by a couple of things. One, how good it is, considering is came from 1998, which I lived through; and had the distinct impression nothing good happened. Second, it represented high school presented in a fairly unique and accurate way.

WARNING: SPOILING YOUR FUN ALERT. WATCH THE MOVIE FIRST, UNLESS YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT LIKE ME.

This movie is set at a party commemorating the end of high school, something I would never be involved with. One character, an italian redhead I'd like to have intercourse with, represents that attitude, initially not wanting to attend. When her friend asks her "what else are you doing tonight?" She has no answer, so she attends. Illustrates the point succinctly.

What's initially great about this movie is there's no hero I can identify. One, a character called "preston meyers", is who I'm supposed to be rooting for, I think. He babbles on about fate and indulges in other magical thinking, finding "signs" and indications he is fated to become an item with jennifer love huge-tits. The only thing I can really relate to is wanting to have sex with a brunette fox, which I want to do at any moment. Other than that he's fairly obnoxious.

But the movie gives equal time to so many other characters you can basically take your pick. Personally I identify with the fire-in-the-hole fox I mentioned, and seth greens character, who is the normal "wigger" character. Only because of his appreciation of black culture and desperate need to get laid; both major themes of my time in high school.

Since this is the last time many of these characters will see each other, the stakes are high. People are doing "what they always wanted to do", consciously or otherwise. And therein lies the drama and comedy.

It was refreshing to see the normal cinematic "high school dynamics" totally absent. By that I mean not everyone was jealous yet enamored by the "popular kids" in particular. There was very little "Us versus them" mentality. With the exception of one character, an x-files nerd. Which hilariously dates the movie, seeing as how nerds have now moved onto video games and energy drinks exclusively. He and his 2 friends have a plot to exact revenge on a jock(example of played out boring shit in movies) Yet when this character gets a couple of beers into his belly, he doesn't give a fuck about anything but being a total beast. Something I can also relate to.

So overall, I felt many characters easy to relate to, and their social interactions as a very accurate(though farcical) representation of high school social life. Seeing as how this movie came from the "deadball" era of comedy movies, and probably everything else, the late 90's, it gets extra points. This gets my rating of download it illegally and enjoy it.

James Lee was correct, but not too bright.

The gunman that took 3 people hostage at the discovery networks headquarters on september 1st, interested me for 1 reason. He didn't commit the violent act for religious, personal, or otherwise "stupid as shit" reasons. The reasoning behind the act was environmental activism. I wouldn't consider myself an environmentalist first. To put it quickly: I support environmentalism when it's primary concern is the betterment of humanity. So did this man's views jive with me?

In a nutshell, kinda sorta. I'm annoyed with alot of the reaction to global warming; because I think they don't focus on the primary concern: People. Most of the popular media describing global warming and the ensuing environmental crisis is only focued on one thing: fuel and the resulting pollution.

There's 2 more aspects to global warming, to put it simply: Overpopulation, and human suffering. I was first annoyed by the non-mention of human suffering in popular media. If the sea levels are going to rise to levels that drown previously populated areas, like New Orleans and Sri lanka, shouldn't people in those areas be evacuated? If, right now, we can only slow global warming, but not prevent it, shouldn't we be more concerned about immediate effects?

This man, James Lee, completely missed, ignored, or wasn't concerned with that point. Instead he focused on overpopulation. And that is where he was correct, but bitter. There are too many people. This has been said before, notably in the 1970s, and yet earth supports more people now than any of those scientists thought it could. They weren't precisely correct about doomsday, but their conclusion(to curb population growth) is still a good idea for other reasons.

Even if cornucopianism is true, and we can just keep expanding and inventing, why? Things would be a hell of alot easier if population was simply reduced. Why struggle for technology and resource conservation when we could all turn to the simplest form of conservation: LESS PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.

I don't share this mans contempt or hatred for humanity. Every human currently alive should remain alive, and enjoy their life as much as possible. But why more people after the current ones?

Most "breeders" as they're referred to by lesbians and idiots, believe their real and/or hypothetical personality and/or parenting to be extraordinary. Yet. according to the most accurate estimates, There are 6,866,400,000 people on earth. Your ability to produce a super-child is estimated by how super YOU are divided by your breeding partner, so 1 in 3433200000(assuming you are super). Even if you are, and swear you know how to pick 'em, that's like rolling a 1 in 3433200000 die everytime you "hit it raw", you moron.

The only lasting reason to breed is your DNA. So your "family continues on". Really? Your own family 5 generations ago was genetically 1/32nd of you. If you breed and trust your offspring to breed for 5 more generations, they'll only be 1/32nd of you once again. You are a blip on the radar. Not only that, but you'll be fucking dead by then, so who cares? Your great-great-great-grandchildren will know as much about you as you know about your great-great-great grandfamily. What a legacy!

Overall, this dude and his act made me think. And that's Probably a bad thing.